It all started with a simple plan. My son had just turned 18 months old, and with my wife heading out for the weekend, I figured, “How hard could it be to potty train a toddler in three days?” It felt like the perfect opportunity for a father-son bonding experience and a chance to knock out a major milestone. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t quite that simple.
This story is my (slightly dramatized) account of one unforgettable weekend—packed with triumphs, mishaps, and enough bodily fluids to fill a sci-fi mission report. So, if you’re ready for a wild ride that’s 100% based on true events, grab a snack, settle in, and enjoy the messy adventure that follows.
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ASSISTANT’S LOG: Operation::’Overturd’ (Initial Entry)
Operation Overview Participants Mission The subject has periodic excretions of both liquid and solid waste matter. To combat this, the doctor and I have been using an unnatural apparatus that attaches to the subject and must be replaced with every discharge. It is the goal of this operation to alleviate the need for these unnatural…
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ASSISTANT’S LOG: Operation::’Overturd’ (Day 1: Continued)
Hour 11.5 The subject’s reset took less than expected, only about 30 minutes. It was mostly ended by the seemingly endless warnings of Churchill’s malfunctioning alarm protocols. The subject’s moods does seem greatly improved. I removed the ‘soiled wearable containment half suit’. It was undisturbed. I provided the subject with solid nourishment of a nut…
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ASSISTANT’S LOG: Operation::’Overturd’ (Day 1: Final)
Hour 20.5 It has been 5 hours since my last entry, but it feels as if hours were days. In the good news column, the glorious doctor has checked in and has safely arrived in her homeland after a tumultuous day of traveling and is now relaxing comfortably as part of some sort of a commune…